Step 2 - You did what?

"You did what" seemed to be a good title for the second stage of the evolution of Zen Shopping. It sometimes seems strange, but the change in thinking has worked well. Bear with me.

After working on the mental attitude change, I decided that I needed a new start. I got ruthless with my closet. Anything that didn't fit (too big or small)...gone! Anything that didn't look good on or fit into the new clothing styles I wanted...gone! If I was in doubt, I got a friend to look at me wearing the outfit and be ruthless. Kind, but ruthless. If it wasn't working, it needed to go.

Yeah, that left some BIG holes in my wardrobe. I had to figure out what worked for my lifestyle, which is never easy. I created my mental list of things I needed so I wouldn't be caught flat-footed and have to do emergency shopping (the most frustrating thing on the planet). I got inspiration from "What Not to Wear" (no, I'm not a fan...not at all), "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style", and a variety of books and websites. I also paid attention to what I would reach for time and again when I would get dressed in the morning, and what I ran out of most quickly (I hate doing laundry unless I have a huge pile to do.)

Okay, I've got my list, now what? How do I shop and have it be fun and not break the bank? I have an addictive personality, which means I'm not good at restraint. I had to find a way to work around that and make it fun. I made it a game. I'm good at games, and I'm competitive, even with myself.

Here are my rules:
1) There is "shopping" and "buying". "Shopping" means that you are just looking at things, and are not planning on a purchase. If you find something that you "need" or "want", it is a bonus and you are happy because you found something. If you don't, you aren't disappointed because you weren't looking to buy anything anyway. "Buying" is when you HAVE to get something. You have to focus, and may need some chocolate in your bag to deal with the stress.

2) I may not pay over my self imposed price for any item on my "need" list, and I must try for sales whenever possible.

3) If purchasing online, I must have at least one coupon code for money off or free shipping. I'll talk more about coupon codes in later entries.

4) "Wants" are just that. They are something you would like to have, but you do not need. If you find a "want", it must be at least 50% off before you are allowed to purchase it and you can't spend more than $20 on the total of "wants". The amount for your "wants" may be different than mine, but $20 worked with my budget at the time.

This was not an easy transition. Compulsive behavior is hard to change, but the rules of the game made it easier. The whole process is now a giant game for me. When I go out shopping, I have a ton of fun figuring out what stores are a good place to "play the game". I don't get tempted as easily anymore, and shopping isn't nearly as onerous.

When I explained the change to my husband, he looked at me and said "You did what?" I had to explain the logic to him, and he was understandable skeptical until he watched it in work. When he saw me apply it to every aspect of shopping as my mindset changed, he started joining in on the fun. We now happily pop into the house after a grocery trip to brag about how much we saved on the trip in store deals and coupons. People look at us like we are nuts when we do a fist pump at the checkout lane, exclaiming "YES!" We don't care, we are "winning the game".